Traditional expectations regarding relationships and income appear to be surprisingly prevalent. “We think we’re modern and equal, until the money hits the bank account,” says Single Coach and High-end Matchmaker Annemieke Dubois, founder of the VIP dating agency Jade & Jules.
What do the figures say about income and divorce?
Annemieke Dubois cites a study in the European Journal of Population. The study – ‘The Medium-Term Effects of Husbands’ Enforced Unemployment on Divorce’ – analyses how shifts in income within marriages affect stability.
When the traditional role of breadwinner disappears or shifts, the risk of a relationship breakdown increases. “The study shows that the divorce rate in Belgium is 18% higher when the woman earns more than the man,” says Annemieke Dubois.
Is this a general pattern?
It would appear so, as various European studies show that income disparities do indeed play a role in the stability of relationships.
Recent French research from 2024 also confirms this pattern. In ‘Are Female-Breadwinner Couples Always Less Stable? Evidence from French Administrative Data’, administrative data on couples was analysed. The study was published via the National Institutes of Health (PMC) and is considered one of the most recent European analyses on this topic.
“The conclusion of that study was that couples in which the woman earns more than 55% of the household income are 11 to 40% more likely to divorce than couples with equal incomes,” explains Annemieke Dubois. Or how a pay gap implies an increased statistical risk.
Why does income affect the stability of a relationship?
According to Annemieke Dubois, there are three underlying dynamics at play. These have less to do with figures and more to do with psychology and interpersonal relationships.
1. Self-image
Although many couples are convinced of their equality, for some, income remains strongly linked to self-image. “For many men, the role of breadwinner is still at the core of their masculinity. If that foundation crumbles, their sense of self-worth is shaken.”
In other words: if work and income have been part of someone’s identity for years, a shift can feel like a personal threat.
2. Status
Relationships are not just about love, but also about mutual appreciation. It is also about admiration and looking up to someone.
According to Dubois, a shift in income can also have an impact here. “Status inspires admiration. As soon as the income hierarchy shifts, we often see that a woman’s admiration for her husband shifts too. And without admiration, a relationship rarely survives.”
That does not mean that women consciously have less respect for their partner when they earn more. Rather, that societal expectations surrounding success and status can sometimes subtly influence how partners view each other.
3. Freedom of choice
The third dynamic is primarily about autonomy. Although the underlying view seems fairly traditional, Dubois argues that it still plays a role. “A woman with her own career is not ‘obliged’ to stay,” she points out. “Whereas women used to be trapped in financial dependence, today their own success buys them the freedom to leave an unhappy relationship.”
Historically, many women stayed in a relationship for economic reasons. Today, that dependence is much less. Financial independence lowers the threshold for ending an unhappy relationship. Statistically, this increases the number of divorces, but it may also point to greater individual freedom.
Does earning more automatically mean more relationship problems?
Of course not. Many couples function perfectly well when the woman earns more. The difference often lies in how partners deal with expectations regarding work, status and roles. Open communication, shared financial decisions and mutual respect prove crucial in this regard.
Or as Annemieke Dubois concludes: “Couples who talk openly about money, roles and expectations are stronger together. Because they know what binds them, even if their salaries differ.”
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