What Happens When Couples Don’t Break the Negative Cycle?
- Feelings toward each other become more negative
- Intimacy and connection diminish
- Friendship deteriorates
- Small irritations escalate quickly
- Quality time and fun disappear
- Dreams go unrealized
- Conflicts, avoidance, and withdrawal increase
- Defensive reactions become the norm
- Emotional pain grows
The Power of Joint Relationship Goals
One way to break this negative cycle is by setting shared goals. Many people have individual goals—whether for health, work, or finances—but how often do we think about setting goals specifically for the relationship? By intentionally creating shared goals, you can positively shift the dynamics of your relationship.
Michael Hyatt has a well-known method for setting personal goals. With some adjustments, couples can use this method to create their “Best Year Ever” together.
The 6 Steps to Setting Relationship Goals
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Envision Your Future Together
Dream together about what you want to achieve as a couple in the coming year. Start brainstorming and don’t be afraid to think big. Don’t let cynicism hold you back. This is your moment to imagine all that’s possible.
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Break Through Limiting Beliefs
What is holding you back? Often, it’s internal thoughts like, “We don’t have time” or “He/she won’t or can’t change.” Write down these limiting beliefs and then create positive, opposing statements. Practice those new beliefs daily. Belief in change is key.
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Process the Past
Identify moments that have held you back. Have you stopped making time for each other? Has conflict led to stagnation? Acknowledge what you wanted to happen, what actually happened, and what you can learn from it. This will help you develop new behaviors and patterns.
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Identify the Areas Where You Need Goals
Consider areas like affection, emotional connection, spirituality, social activities, parenting, finances, and shared hobbies. Determine which aspects have been neglected and set concrete goals for improvement. Focus on 5 to 7 key goals for the best results.
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Create SMARTER Goals
Hyatt’s SMARTER framework stands for: Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Risky (not too comfortable), Time-bound, Exciting, and Relevant. Make sure your goals are challenging, yet achievable and inspiring.
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Track Your Progress
Setting goals is important, but without regular check-ins, those dreams are unlikely to come true. Schedule dedicated times to review your progress and motivate each other to keep going.
What Can Change in the Next 6 Months?
Imagine that over the next six months, you break old, negative patterns, let go of limiting beliefs, and work together on a concrete plan full of hope and positivity. It may sound simple, but it can be life-changing.
What is your biggest challenge when it comes to setting joint goals?
Share your thoughts in the comments or send us a message.
Dreaming together is beautiful, but achieving those dreams together is what makes them real. You’ve got this!
Also, read all about How to Help Your Partner Achieve Their Goals
Jade & Jules, founded by Annemieke Dubois, is an exclusive relationship agency for financially independent singles, such as entrepreneurs and business executives, looking for a serious and lasting relationship. With a growing network in Flanders, Wallonia and Brussels, Jade & Jules sets a new quality standard in matchmaking.
In Flanders, the team of experienced matchmakers Annemieke, Veronique and Nathalie are at your service, in Brussels and Wallonia, you can reach out to Sigrid.